At the midnight showing of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas last night in Fredericton, embarrassment seemed inevitable. Obviously, like most others in attendance, I was a bit shy from interaction unlike my normal self and this played into my brief and slightly humourous downfall.
95.7 FM employs bastards. They organized this wonderful event and invited 10 people from the packed crowd to stand at the front like a firing squad execution to answer trivia questions about the film. I was the final contestant on the stage after much prodding from Horatio, Veda, et al.
However they asked each of us randomly after appearing to start chronologically from left to right. Imagine the stress of knowing the death blow is imminent but it could strike all around you first. This was the trivia - and mind altered - equivalent.
Question 1: Who directed the film?
Easy answer. Terry Gilliam. The contestant didn't know and was given a consolation prize.
Question 2: What hotel was the police convention at?
Little trickier. But I knew it was the Flamingo. Contestant numero dos also swung and missed and got sent packing.
The woman from 95.7 FM looked down the row at me and said "it's looking pretty good for you on the end now isn't it?"
Being the idiot that I am I decided to wade in this great fortune by smiling and giving her the thumbs up. Had I stood still, ignored her attention perhaps they would have continued along the beaten path. But no, instead I got cocky.
So the big bald bastard she works with got the idea, and it was clear in his eyes that his intentions were to eliminate me swiftly. He wanted to wipe the smug look off my face. It was as though he were thinking "oh so you think you know Fear and Loathing huh? You gonzo wannabe hack? Well you get question number 3 then since you think you're so good."
Question 3: What kind of dessert does Dr. Gonzo order at the diner?
Shit.
"Oh man," I said.
"Oh man," the bald bastard replied in a mocking tone.
After an asinine back and forth where I felt like a lobotomy patient being encouraged by equally stupid individuals, I said "pie."
"Yes, but what kind of pie?"
Fucker.
"Um, banana cream?"
"Oh so sorry," he said. He wasn't.
It was lemon pie...lemon. The smug Mr. Clean with tats handed me a card from Jumbo video promising a free rental with a paid rental. Great. An offer to save money if only I actively spend some first. That makes sense.
Question 4: Who wrote the book?
Somehow, the person on stage didn't know and received a resounding chorus of boos. She deserved it. It's not a bad thing to go see the movie in theatres if you have never heard of Thompson, that's fine. But why take part in a trivia contest about Fear and Loathing if you have no proper frame of reference to what the hell is going on? That person probably would have said lemon...
Semi-joking, I started complaining about the coupon Butterbean gave me when I said "yeah, and it's only good until...six days ago." They gave me an expired coupon.
"Why not just punch you in the stomach?" Isaac said.
I'll have my revenge on this one. The hosts from the radio station said next month they'd be showing Ghostbusters on March 20*. First of all, next month is February so there's that. Second, I know Ghostbusters like the back of my hand. I'm going to step up to the plate and show Stay Puft who to call when it comes to film trivia...
...lame? Yes. Somewhat pathetic? Sure. But hey, pride is a silly thing in general anyway.
*Horatio has updated me on the status of the next midnight movie. Apparently, they did intend to say February 20. It is next month and good old Faustus and I are going to be somewhere between Tennessee and Pennsylvania on our return trip. You've cornered me again world!
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