Out of frustration...

Previously I made some choice comments directly about journalism. And I realize I spoke somewhat harshly about teachers. This was entirely inappropriate on my part and while I can't undo what I said, I hope I can genuinely display a bit of humility and regret.

I had a few moments where I contacted people and they downright refused to talk with me about a specific controversial topic and the article didn't get done. I vented out of frustration when I could have easily just kept trying to contact more.

What I did was lump every teacher in the area into my disappointment and that just isn't right or fair. For this an apology is definitely deserved. Teachers have been so important to me in my life, and some are still my friends and it would be devastating to lose that from idiotic comments I made out of frustration.

You forget sometime that people will read what you write and they will care and it took someone I respect and care for to point out my error and I would never want to insult or upset him in any way.

It also took another colleague of mine to point out how my jaded view of the world of journalism was a bit overboard because it isn't overly accurate.

I don't want to bore people with the details of disappointment in my life because I don't particularly like airing out my problems in public.

The job I have has been constantly promoted to me as a great thing and I feel obligated to feel privileged to have it...and yet I don't. Every time I chose a path I end up stepping back and second guess myself to the point where I convince myself that it's the wrong choice. Eventually I am going to have to just buckle down and tough it out.

Journalism (this might contradict what I said previously) does indeed offer a lot of positives. Being that I displayed disappointment about lack of balance, I myself was unbalanced in my approach. I was completely negative with no optimism.

Every day in journalism, you meet someone new, you hear a new perspective on life. You travel even if it within a small local area. You will become familiar with an entire area that otherwise you may have been unaware of.

My disappointment is likely due to the fact that I do feel boxed in because, well I haven't been anywhere. I probably shouldn't have read On the Road, Catcher in the Rye or other books about people who have no idea where their place in the world is.

I never want to be considered a jaded, bitter individual and I certainly don't wish to alienate anyone because of overt negativity. There is so much beauty in this world that to act nihilistic is to lose sight of the purpose of life.

The only thing I guess I should clarify is that I have realized that a career in print journalism as in the newspaper is likely not for me. I love writing and hopefully will find a way to pursue it successfully in some capacity. For now I will stick it out...I hope this wasn't too long winded.